


Her Name is Pumpkin, Idiot

by KilljoyUnicorn



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Frerard, M/M, No Smut, Oneshot, Puppies, Snowstorms, Sweet, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilljoyUnicorn/pseuds/KilljoyUnicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard gives Frank a really cute surprise on Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Name is Pumpkin, Idiot

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Her Name is Pumpkin, Idiot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4066756) by [easy_peasy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/easy_peasy/pseuds/easy_peasy)



> This is my first fic, so comments and suggestions would be very much appreciated! You will be rewarded with my everlasting gratitude and a virtual puppy.

“Gerard, you idiot, get back in here! You’re going to get pneumonia and die and then there will be no one to cook for me.”  
Gerard rolled his eyes, glancing back at where Frank stood barefoot on the porch, arms crossed and with a ferocious glare.   
“Calm down. I just have to go get the mail, and then we can go back to watching bad horror movies and eating pizza, okay? Besides, I’m not going to get pneumonia. I am wearing a coat. And mittens. Really cute mittens with snowmen on them.”  
“Yeah, whatever.” Frank scowled, albeit affectionately, and turned to go back in, shivering slightly in the icy wind. “Just... try not to die. It would kinda ruin Christmas.”   
“I’ll do my best, Frankie.”  
The door slammed shut without a reply from the tiny brunette, and Gerard chuckled slightly. Then, pulling up his coat collar, he set off down the driveway to the mailbox, pushing his way through the snowdrifts and the still-steadily-falling snow.   
Tugging his hat down over his ears, the unnaturally red-headed man poked a few strands of his bright hair back under it, silently cursing winter and all of its joys. Such as snowstorms. On Christmas Eve. That trapped you inside your house.  
On the other hand, Gerard reasoned, if he had to be stranded in his house with anybody in the world, he’d definitely choose Frank. And the power was still on, anyway.  
Finally reaching the mailbox, Gerard flipped it open- with some difficulty, considering his heavily-mittened hands- and slid out a sheaf of papers. Quickly glancing through them, he winced at the number of bills- he was going to have to talk to Frank about turning down the heat occasionally. Just because he was always cold did not mean that their finances had to suffer.   
Tucking the bundle of mail under his arm, Gerard turned, scowling in anticipation of the long slog back to the house. He made a mental note to demand of Frank why they had chosen to live in a house with such an absurdly long driveway.   
Sighing and pulling his hat back down over his forehead, he trudged back up the driveway, only to freeze midway.  
God, he was stupid. How the hell could I have forgotten what’s upstairs? Frank is going to find it no no no this is bad no I have to get back no...  
Breaking into a sprint- or what passed for one, in the snowdrifts- Gerard dashed back up to the glowing lights of the house, plowing his way through the falling snow. If Frank finds the thing that is upstairs everything will be ruined and ah no got to get there got to get there fast-  
Flying up the icy steps, Gerard grabbed for the doorknob and yanked it open, propelling himself into the warm hallway. Dear God let him not have found it....  
“Gee?” Frank’s voice called from somewhere up the hall, nearly causing the redhead to drop the mail, startled.   
“Yeah, it’s me,” Gerard replied loudly, quickly recovering to slide out of his boots and jacket. He tossed his hat and mittens down on the floor- they’d get dirty, but whatever- and started down the hall, still clutching the mail and praying that Frank hadn’t discovered his surprise. “I somehow managed not to get pneumonia. Where are you?”   
“Living room,” Frank hollered back, sounding mildly flustered for some reason, “And I, um... well... we have a small problem.”  
Gerard frowned, mind immediately whipping through all the things that could have gone wrong in the ten minutes he’d been gone. Were they out of pizza or something? At least it didn’t sound like his surprise had been discovered- there would probably be a lot more excitement if that had been the case. So what was the matter....? Hastening his steps, he hurried through the house.  
Stepping into the living room, Gerard froze to take in the sight before him. There was a beat of silence.   
And then Gerard started laughing, hard. “Oh, God,” he gasped, leaning against the wall for support, his shoulders shaking, “How’d you manage to do that, Frankie?”   
“It’s not funny, you idiot!”   
Frank scowled darkly from where he sat on the floor, completely tangled in blinking, multicolored Christmas lights. They wound over his arms, pinning them to his sides, and spread out in an unraveled mess across the floor. It was quite a mess.   
“I was trying to get these stupid lights out of the huge knot they were in because someone didn’t put them away properly last Christmas, and then I saw a spider and tried to run but I swear the lights are possessed by little demons or something because they wrapped around my legs and I fell down and they wrapped around my arms and- stop laughing, Gee!”   
Gerard tried to force down his giggles, doing his best to assume at least a mildly serious expression. “Never fear, Frankie. I will save you from the possessed, twinkly Christmas lights! Vengeance shall be ours!” Ok, so maybe mildly serious was an overstatement.   
Frank huffed out an annoyed sigh. “You’re so irritating.”   
“Oh, I know. It’s part of the charm!” Setting the mail down on the couch, Gerard skipped lightly across the floor, grinning down at his boyfriend’s glowering face. “Here. I just have to unknot this bit and pull this end and- voila!” The enormous tangle somehow immediately unraveled, falling in a heap on the floor, leaving Frank to blink up at Gerard’s smug face, obviously shocked.   
“How the hell did you do that?” He grumbled, grabbing Gerard’s offered hand and hauling himself to his feet, stray lights tumbling down onto the floor.   
“I’m Batman.”  
“Great. I’ve always wanted to date Batman. Dreams really do come true.” Frank grinned up at Gerard, before dropping his hand and disappearing through the door into the kitchen.   
“On another note, the pizza’s getting cold. C’mon, Caped Crusader.”   
Gerard smiled, following Frank into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, watching with amusement as Frank had to reach upwards to grab the plates on a high shelf.  
"Ugh, we need lower cabinets," he complained, glaring at Gerard when he smothered a giggle.   
"Don't laugh at me! You don't know the struggles of being short." He scolded lightly, trying to hide a smile of his own.   
Gerard just laughed again, pushing off of the counter and grabbing the pizza box from the kitchen table.   
"We don't really need plates, you know," he whispered in a mock secretive voice. "We could be rebels and just eat the pizza out of the box..."  
Frank rolled his eyes, but set the plates down. "I am dating a five year old."   
"That is correct."  
"Fine. But we are using napkins, you slob."  
"Deal." Gerard spun the pizza box on his fingertips- a trick that always made Frank smile- and headed back into the living room. "You coming, Frankie?"  
Frank rolled his eyes again, albeit affectionately (he seemed to do that a lot- maybe it was just a natural reaction to how ridiculous Gerard was), and grabbed a stack of napkins. "Coming, you idiot."  
"Aw, that's mean," Gerard's voice floated teasingly out the doorway. "I'm not that much of an idiot."   
"Yes, you are." Frank stepped through the doorway carefully, mindful of the lights still strewn around the floor, and made his way over to where Gerard was slumped on the couch, attempting to wrestle open the pizza box. "You're lucky you're cute."  
Gerard abandoned his efforts and sat back to grin at Frank, pushing his bright hair out of his eyes.   
"Aw. You think I’m cute?  
Another eye roll.   
“Duh.”  
“You’re so sweet.”  
“Duh.”   
Gerard laughed, turning his attention back to the pizza box, which he had finally managed to get open. Frank though it was kind of adorable how clumsy he was all the time. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud.  
“Okay, Frankie, here is the napkin that you decided we had to have, and here is the pizza that I was awesome and ordered.”  
Frank accepted both the napkin and the slice of pizza, raising one eyebrow at his red-haired boyfriend.   
“Actually, I was the one who ordered the pizza while you lay on the couch reading comics. Remember?”  
“Oh.”  
Gerard looked downcast for a moment, then shrugged, taking a bite of his pizza.   
“Ah, well,” he said cheerfully, muted by his mouthful of delicious carbohydrates, “It doesn’t really matter which of us was awesome and ordered the pizza, because the end result is that we have pizza. And we’re both awesome, so.”   
“I’m a little more awesome, though,” Frank contended, laying back on the couch to devour his own slice of amazing, cheesy goodness. “I mean, just since I’m so incredibly awesome. Not to say that you’re not awesome.”   
“I agree with that statement.” Gerard gave a lopsided grin. He had sauce on the side of his mouth. Frank thought it matched his hair quite nicely. Nevertheless-   
“Hey, you’ve got something on your mouth.” He indicated the spot, and Gerard frowned, scrunching up his nose in the most adorable way ever (according to Frank) as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.   
Frank resisted both the urge to roll his eyes- again- and kiss Gerard. He managed to do neither.   
“You have a napkin for a reason, you know…”   
“Napkins are for wimps.”  
“Or, you know, clean people.”  
Gerard stuck out his tongue at Frank. “You’re mean.”  
“That must be why you’re dating me.”   
“Nah. I’m dating you because you’re cute and sweet and talented and nice and-”  
“I get the idea.” Frank smiled, twisting from his position on the couch to lay his head on Gerard’s shoulder, nudging at his chin with his nose.   
Gerard made a contented humming noise, wrapping his free arm around Frank’s shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to Frank’s forehead.   
“Really? Because I have a whole long list of your amazing qualities.”   
“I know I’m amazing. Although it is nice to hear it.”   
“Yeah, well, I’ll tell you anytime you want.”  
“You are so freaking cheesy.”  
“Like pizza.” Gerard took a bite of his own, nearly gone slice and smiled widely.  
“I rest my case.”   
They sat in silence after that, the only sounds the chewing of pizza and the soft fall of the snow outside. All considered, if wasn’t the worst way to spend Christmas Eve, Gerard decided, especially considering what was upstairs…  
Speaking of upstairs, his surprise was probably ready to be revealed. Hiding a smile, Gerard stood up and yawned loudly.   
“I’m going to get some pillows from upstairs. Back in a sec.”  
Frank barely raised his head from the couch cushions, simply waving one hand lazily in the air to indicate comprehension.   
Gerard slipped quietly out of the room and dashed up the stairs. Easing open the door to the spare bedroom, he quickly entered and closed it behind him, worry suddenly clouding his mind. What if it got out somehow? What if it’s the wrong one? Oh god, what if it was dead?  
It was not dead, and it was quite happy to see Gerard. He laughed, gently stooping to pick up the large box and whispering “Shh, shh,” to its resident.   
Balancing the box was tricky, seeing as the surprise would not freaking behave itself and kept moving around the box and trying to jump out of it and generally being a nuisance.   
Luckily, Gerard managed to get down the stairs and across the hallway without slipping and breaking anything, carefully adjusting the box as he approached the living room.   
“Frankie, I have- oh, typical.”  
Frank was fast asleep on the couch, one leg hanging off the edge and an arm thrown across the back. He snored softly.  
Gerard rolled his eyes and set the (now suspiciously quiet- maybe it was finally understanding the nature of the word surprise) box down on the coffee table, reaching over to gently shake Frank’s shoulder.   
“Frankie. Frankie. Frankieeeeeee-”   
Frank opened one eye, glanced up at Gerard, yawned, and opened the other eye.   
“You better have Christmas cookies, you big loveable idiot, or I’m going back to sleep.”  
“I have something better than Christmas cookies.”  
“Impossible. Unless you’ve somehow managed to actually become Batman, because in that case, you have my full permission to build the Batcave under the house.”   
“Just sit up. It’s your early Christmas present.”   
Frank bolted upright, nearly sending Gerard stumbling over the coffee table.   
“Yay! Presents! Gimme.”  
He made grabby hands at Gerard, flashing a wide smile, suddenly wide awake. The redhead grinned, turning to grab the big, heavy box from the table. Oh, this was going to be good.   
He presented the box to Frank with a flourish, the smaller man bouncing a little with excitement. Frank took the box carefully, settling it on his lap before slowly opening up the flaps and peeking into the box.  
Gerard thought the expression on Frank’s face was worth everything- the researching, the sneaking out of the house, the hiding and placating with treats and desperately trying to keep the surprise quiet so Frank wouldn’t find it- it was all worth it to see the absolute joy on the little man’s face as he lifted his Christmas present out of its box and onto his lap, cradling it in his arms before looking up at Gerard with a smile so bright it could have supplied the world’s energy needs for at least a year.   
“Holy cheesecake, Gee, you got me a puppy?!”   
Gerard nodded, smiling so hard his face sort of hurt. The good kind of hurt, though.   
“Yup. She’s some sort of poodle-terrier mix- she’s a rescue, about three months old, I went into the shelter and she was just really really cute so I thought what the heck-”   
“She’s perfect.” Frank cut Gee off mid-ramble, hugging the little dog to his chest.   
She gave a short bark, blinking up at them out of huge, brown eyes and tilting her curly, reddish-orange head to the side, before twisting in Frank’s arms to happily lick his cheek.   
“She needs a name,” Frank decided, patting the couch next to him. Gerard sat down, reaching out to pet the puppy’s silky fur.  
“Absolutely. I was thinking maybe Ivy.”  
“What, like Poison Ivy? Because she’s got red fur?”   
“I love it when you get my Batman references.”  
“I know, but that’s a terrible name, Gee.”  
“I don’t love it when you hate my ideas.”   
“We should name her something as adorable as she is.” Frank declared. “How about… Pumpkin?”  
“Really.” It wasn’t even a question.   
“Yes, really. She’s my Christmas present, so shush.”   
“Her name is Pumpkin, idiot.”  
And that was that. The newly christened Pumpkin jumped down from Frank’s lap and padded off to explore the house, leaving Frank to make a worried noise and dash after her, and of course leaving Gerard to run after both of them.   
Later, after Pumpkin had tired herself out playing tug-of-war with both of them and had fallen asleep in Gerard’s lap as they lay on the couch and watched A Christmas Story for the umpteenth time- “It’s a classic, Frankie!” Gerard had protested (“Classic’s just another word for old,” Frank had grumbled, but had of course given in- Gerard turned to kiss Frank’s cheek.  
“I love you.”  
“I know.”  
“Oooh. Han Solo’d.”   
“If you’re implying that I’m Princess Leia, I am so much cuter than her.”  
“Indeed you are.”  
Frank rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that night, but he laughed.  
And to Gerard, it felt like home. 

 

The End


End file.
